


The Long Game (take me, do as you will)

by chararii



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Dark, Downward Spiral, Emotional Manipulation, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Friends to Lovers to sort of Enemies, Grooming, Haruno Sakura-centric, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Kinky, Mental Breakdown, Minor Character Death, POV Haruno Sakura, Torture, Underage Sex, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Unhealthy Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-16
Updated: 2020-07-16
Packaged: 2021-03-04 17:40:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,792
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25310260
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chararii/pseuds/chararii
Summary: In the end, Sakura is always destined to chase after a boy.Except in this time and place, where Orochimaru is the prime and only evil, her boy is... Well. He'sdifferent.
Relationships: Haruno Sakura/Yakushi Kabuto
Comments: 27
Kudos: 126
Collections: Konoha Collection, Team 7 🌀, why im sleep deprived 💖✨





	The Long Game (take me, do as you will)

**Author's Note:**

> To be honest, this was supposed to be much more lighthearted than it ended up being. Like, wow, this took a turn I didn't see coming until I was already done.
> 
> Anyway, I got the inspiration for this from an amazing Kabuto cosplay TikTok with Left Boy's Dangerous in the background.

_You understand I've got a plan for us_

_I bet you didn't know that I was dangerous_

The first time they meet, Sakura is seven years old and has a kunai stuck in her hand. She's been careless and she's crying while her mother rants at her father about how 'of course this was going to happen, she's a civilian, not a murderer!' They leave her alone in the emergency room to continue their argument outside, when the doctor enters. She's a kind woman with a pretty smile but she's not the one who catches her attention.

There's a boy accompanying the woman. He's older than her and dressed in typical med-nin garments with medium length silver hair gathered into a low ponytail. He smiles too and Sakura finds herself mesmerised by the sight. She's only a child but she sees something more than most, sees how his kindness is not entirely sincere and hiding something _interesting_.

He carefully removes the kunai and heals her wound under the watchful eyes of his superior while Sakura is staring into his face to try and unravel what makes him special.

He's a secret she wants to understand and besides, he's plenty pretty as well. Much better than Sasuke who Ino's so caught up in that she forgot how to be Sakura's friend. Maybe he could be her friend instead.

Before she leaves with her parents, she turns around one last time and asks his name.

“Kabuto,” he says and the letters burn themselves into Sakura's memory.

Years pass by and Sakura grows up to be painfully average. She manages to graduate with flying colours but hasn't quite managed to delude herself into thinking that that's a good thing. Ino declared her her rival the moment Sakura gets sorted into Sasuke's team so while she tries to lord her superior grades over the blonde's head, her efforts sound weak and feeble to her own ears.

Sakura did better in class but Ino beat her on the training grounds every single time and no amount of wishful thinking changes that.

So when everyone else is ecstatic about their team assignments, Sakura feels dread and horror upon realising that she's out of her depth. Naruto is an idiot but he has the kind of stamina and sheer will she always lacked. Sasuke is their rookie of the year. She is... Sakura. Who's a genjutsu type with a teacher who doesn't want to teach her anything.

When Sasuke draws blood during their first spar, Kakashi-sensei sends her to the hospital on her own. She gets her injury taken care of and just as she's about to leave, catches a glimpse of silver in the hallways.

Old memories resurface and she remembers a pretty older boy who has secrets nobody else knows about. She's not sure what it is, but something makes her follow him. His strides are quick and longer than hers, so Sakura desperately searches her brain for his name.

Just as he's about to round a corner, it comes to her.

“K- Kabuto-san!” He turns around, spots her and smiles. It's as eerie as the last time but his eyes sparkle and his hair looks soft and Sakura finds herself smiling back.

He's _captivating_. Every word that leaves his lips is deliberate, he carefully thinks about what he wants to say all the while gazing upon Sakura as if she's the most fascinating thing he's ever laid eyes on. Never before in her life has Sakura felt more appreciated. Like she's important, worth listening to.

Kabuto spends his lunch break with her in a small restaurant. He offers to pay for her food and she orders the kind of salad her mother told her is appropriate for good little girls like her. He raises his brows and lectures her on the importance of nutrition and proteins, all the nourishment a growing body like hers requires. In the end, he ignores her order and tells the waitress to bring a plate of vegetables with steamed rice and salmon instead.

For the first time in years, Sakura finishes a meal that doesn't leave her hungry for more all the while Kabuto looks at her like he knows exactly what she's thinking.

“You're a recent academy graduate, aren't you?” he asks and she nods, unable to fully hide her true feelings on the subject.

“Ah, I see. You don't like your team, do you?” He's both right and not, so after a minute of wrestling with herself, Sakura finally cracks and spills all her woes to this boy who's little more than a stranger. Still, he pays attention. Listens. Looks at her until she blushes because he's attractive and nobody ever paid her this much attention to her before.

“Hm... so you feel inadequate because your team mates are much stronger than you are and your teacher is not very helpful.” She wants to nod her head and say yes until she realises that it wasn't a question he needed an answer for.

Part of it makes Sakura wonder if perhaps, Kabuto had been in the same situation once. Then again he's a med-nin who are universally known to be incredibly accomplished. What could someone like him know about falling behind?  
“You know, I could help you if you like?” Sakura's head snaps upwards with an audible crack, her eyes as wide as saucers, mouth agape. Surely he must be joking. She searches his face for any hint of ridicule or insincerity, deflating when she finds none.

“It can't be easy for a civilian-born shinobi to measure up the the last Uchiha.” He says Uchiha like it means more than it should, but Sakura doesn't let that deter her. Not when she just found someone who's willing to give her a chance. It's more than anyone else has ever done for her.

“Please teach me,” she begs with her head bowed low and hands clasped in her lap in a silent prayer.

“Of course, Sakura-chan.”

“You've been busy lately, haven't you Sakura-chan?” It's the first time her teacher takes any interest in her, so naturally Sakura drops the bucket of paint she's holding in surprise. Red splatters all over the grass, her shoes and Naruto's shirt. Well. That's his fault, really, for lazing about instead of helping them with their D-Rank.

“Not really?” she asks because she's not sure what he wants. Sure, she's spent a lot of time with Kabuto who's started teaching her all about anatomy and where to best stab someone to disable them long enough for her to get away (he tried convincing her to go for the kill instead but she wasn't _ready_ yet). Although surely Kakashi-sensei isn't interested in what she does in her spare time with her new friend. Only friend. Sakura chides herself for going down that line of thought when Kabuto is awesome enough to count for at least three friends!

“Ah, I heard from an acquaintance that you've been spending a lot of time at the hospital.” Of course Naruto with his irritating crush on her, completely blows this out of proportion.

“EEEEEH, are you hurt Sakura-chan?!” One of these days she'll go deaf and it'll be entirely this idiot's fault.

“No. I'm just meeting a friend, that's all.” Naruto starts demanding to meet this 'friend' of hers as well and show him to allow his precious Sakura-chan to get hurt. She ignores him in favour of closely watching her teacher who regards her in turn, masked lips relaxed and emitting a quiet hum.

“A friend, hm?” Sakura remembers the way every girl her age and then some chase after Sasuke who hates Sakura for being weak while still, in some way, appreciating her indifference towards him. Her eyes harden as she frowns at her teacher.

“Yes. Friend.” They silently stare at each other for a few more seconds before Kakashi-sensei gives up and returns his attention to his porn.

Sakura attacks the fence with new-found vigor while swearing on her grandmother's grave that under no circumstances, is her teacher ever allowed to meet Kabuto and chase away the only friend she has.

Of course, naturally, peace doesn't last. Sakura's in the middle of attempting to channel green healing chakra in Kabuto's cute little office when there's a knock on the door. Kabuto seems surprised and before he can open the door, Sakura's nose catches the unmistakable smell of dog and ramen and she curses viciously.

Kabuto lets her know he is disappointed in her with that little hint of a frown until she blushes and apologises. Her demure demeanour lasts for about as long as it takes the silver-haired medic-nin to open the door.

“WHO ARE YOU THEN, HUH?”

Sakura buries her head in her hands and wishes she had a kekkei genkai that allowed her to just disappear off the face of the earth.

There's some sort of universal rule that dictates that every Team 7's first C-Rank turns into a nightmare. Sasuke is probably, most likely dead, Naruto has turned into some sort of monster and Kakashi-sensei is busy dealing with Zabuza.

Sakura is useless.

After everything is said and done, she patches up Sasuke with her underdeveloped medical chakra and ignores the way Kakashi-sensei squints at the green glow surrounding her hands and arm. They go back home and the first thing Sakura does, before reporting to the Hokage or even letting her parents know that she's alright, is march straight to the hospital and ask for Kabuto.

He immediately interrupts his paper work to rush over and heal her wounds while asking what happened to her.

Sakura doesn't answer. Instead, she looks him dead in the eyes and says:

“I need to learn how to kill.”

Whenever she struggles with the weight and expectations of taking lives, she recalls the vivid image of Sasuke's still body, Haku's pierced chest and the mountain of corpses Zabuza left in the wake of his final stand.

“Lower,” Kabuto says and Sakura adjusts the position of her finger on the human dummy. Biting her lip, she concentrates and calls upon her chakra, imagines herself to wield a kunai of pure energy that can pierce even the hardest of shells.

She fails over and over again until one day, Kabuto hums quietly and steps a little closer. His hands gently close around her wrist. Sakura flushes a bright red but tries again nevertheless.

This time, she gets it right.

Kakashi-sensei signs them up for the chuunin exams and Sakura is terrified. Only one thing is on her mind, and it's finding Kabuto as soon as possible so he can tell her what in the world she's supposed to do.

He greatly disapproves of her teacher's decision and, with a hand on her shoulder, promises her to help her in any way he can. After all, he'll partake in the exams himself. If anyone can aid her, it's him.

She stares at him in wonder, then asks herself what she'd do if he wasn't around to catch her every time she falls. Kabuto is the only one she can depend on, not Naruto who's immature and childish, not Sasuke who only cares about getting revenge, not Kakashi-sensei who gets referred to by the title only due to Sakura's respect for authority.

They practise chakra scalpels again that evening. By now, Sakura can summon them in her sleep. Kabuto nods at her, then tells her how proud he is of her progress.

She glows under his praise and stops worrying.

There's a man who's half human, half snake and his name is Orochimaru. To Sakura, he's nothing short of a nightmare. She does her best to defend Sasuke but as always, she's just a little too late. The man bites his neck and Sakura shoves her chakra scalpel into his stomach. He left her on the branch, thought her weak and defenceless, then ultimately paid for it.

He vomits and screeches in pain, then looks at her with blood running out of his mouth, eyes calculating and underneath it all, terribly amused.

“Well done, little plaything,” he rasps at her and Sakura is so inherently disgusted, that she grabs Sasuke and runs like hell. He doesn't chase her but for some reason, it doesn't do anything to comfort her.

When she, quite literally, stumbles into Kabuto she collapses and starts wailing. He pats her head and whispers soothing rhymes into her ear while looking over her injuries. She begs him to heal Sasuke first, only to be ignored. The Uchiha needs his help more but even then, she is his first priority.

Sakura attempts to change his mind one more time before giving up. Sasuke is bruised and beaten but still breathing. He'll be fine. Kabuto wouldn't let him die.

She closes her eyes, surrenders to his care, and lets herself drift off.

Having to face Ino in front of a large crowd is the worst thing that could have happened to her, murderous snake sannin aside. Flashbacks of her academy days threaten to overwhelm her and she begins to shake and shiver as soon as the names appear on the LED display. Naruto yells something about how she's going to kick ass and Kakashi-sensei tries to pat her head. Before he can, Sakura turns away to look at Kabuto instead.

He nods and smiles like he believes in her. Like he trusts her not to disappoint him. Sakura bites her lip, then returns the nod. He spent so much time and effort on her, she can't fail him now. She refuses to.

Sakura breaks Ino's arm and privately delights in the shock that blooms on her rival's face. The blonde doesn't give up. Sakura has to cut the tendons in both her ankles to make her surrender.

When she does, she looks at Sakura as if she somehow betrayed her by not adhering to some sort of obscure unspoken set of rules.

Naruto cheers, Kakashi-sensei frowns.

All she cares about is Kabuto, who whispers to her in passing that he is pleased and that she has done well.

The following month, they train together almost exclusively. Kabuto tried to withdraw from the exams during the second stage but Sakura wouldn't let him. He has to face one of his team mates, Sakura has to fight an oto nin named Dozu. Kakashi-sensei has absconded with Sasuke, Naruto trains with a literal sannin. Sakura declined her teacher's offer to find an instructor for her. He let it slide although Sakura is fully aware that one day, he is going to challenge her relationship with Kabuto.

Sakura wins her match because her opponent doesn't show. She's disappointed but channels her emotions into cheering for Kabuto instead. He struggles so she makes sure to shout louder and louder until he can hear her.

When he does, he pauses briefly, before taking a hit in the face. It doesn't matter much because suddenly, his team mates collapses on the ground, unconscious. Kabuto's hand still glows blue when he turns to wave at Sakura who jumps up and down like an overexcited puppy.

Minutes later, everything goes to hell.

Weeks later, when Sakura wakes up and stares into the honey-coloured eyes of Senju Tsunade, all she can remember is Kabuto standing in front of her, one hand glowing green, face empty and expressionless.

“It's not safe for you, Sakura. Rest.”

They tell her that Orochimaru stole Sasuke, destroyed the entire civilian district, and that her parents are dead.

She asks them where Kabuto is. The following silence threatens to rip her apart, until there's a faint knock on the door.

It opens and all Sakura has to see is silver hair, dark eyes and round glasses before she passes out again, this time out of sheer exhaustion.

Kabuto is her only friend and he knows this too, so when Sakura begs him to help her find a place to stay, he offers her to move in with him instead. Kakashi-sensei forbids it, or tries to, at least. He has about as much authority over her private life as she does over his. Naruto freaks out except it doesn't matter for long since he's about to leave on an extended training trip with his sannin mentor. It might have bothered her once, that both her team mates get taken in by sannin while she herself gets left behind once again.

She gets lost in her thoughts just as Kabuto enters the living room with two plates of delicious food in his hands and everything is alright with Sakura's world.

Until the next morning, when she's summoned to the new Hokage's office. The blonde woman looks her over, then gestures at Sakura's file which rests on the desk between them.

“I had a look at your stats. Great chakra control, basic medical training, some offensive jutsu... you've been trained by that Kabuto guy, right?” Sakura nods and mentally steels herself for what is about to follow. This entire situation has Kakashi-sensei's hands all over it.

“And you moved in with him.” Not a question. She nods again. The blonde frowns and interlocks her fingers, calm and calculating eyes critically observing Sakura's every movement.

“You're thirteen. He's nineteen. Doesn't that worry you?” Sudden fury clouds her judgement as she remembers every single time Kakashi dropped in unannounced during their study sessions, every time Naruto 'accidentally' ran into Kabuto, even that purple-haired creepy woman that follows them around from time to time.

“He's my friend and he's been teaching me ever since I became a genin and Kakashi-sensei didn't want to bother with me.” Perhaps she's a bit harsh but she has a point damnit and she's tired of everyone and their mother looking at Kabuto like he's a sexual predator.

“You seem pretty talented for a kid. I could teach you.” The offer is beyond tempting and Sakura almost accepts until she realises the offer for what it truly is. Her eyes grow cold and she stands up just a little straighter, hands behind her back.

“No, thank you. I already have a teacher.”

They are silent for a few minutes as Sakura refuses to lose the staring contest. This woman, sannin or not, has no right to walk all over her and badmouth Kabuto.

“Get out,” the Hokage growls eventually and with one final derisive sniff, Sakura complies.

Kabuto makes chuunin. So does she.

Not much happens in the years that follow. At some point, Sakura pesters Kabuto into registering her as his official apprentice which he does to the great disapproval of the Hokage. The woman allows it because that way, at least it keeps the two of them close and within her sight.

Sakura starts working at the hospital soon after and learns everything there is to know about how the place operates. Shizune-sama, who's the disciple and annoyingly motherly companion of the blonde sannin, dogs her steps like a hound just waiting to catch them doing something they shouldn't.

By now the entire village knows that Sakura lives with a man seven years older than her and even though she's already fifteen, they just refuse to shut up about it.

Yes, Kabuto is hot and no, she wouldn't mind getting up close and personal but beyond all that he's her friend. He doesn't deserve being talked about.

One time, two nurses gossip just a tad too loudly. When one of them tumbles down the stairs by accident the next day and breaks her leg, well, nobody can prove it was Sakura.

Kabuto still knows. He doesn't approve, yet somehow fails to properly lecture her nevertheless.

It had to happen eventually, though when it does, Sakura is still surprised. A fellow chuunin catches her when she's busy getting takeout from a nearby restaurant and asks her out.

“What?” Very eloquent but Sakura is thoroughly stumped by the question because she's... well. She's Sakura. People don't ask her out. Not that she's hideous or anything but the only makeup she applies is a hint of rosy lip balm because Kabuto doesn't like excessive makeup.

Not that he seems to like anything, period. He hasn't been on a single date and ignores the women who try to get his attention, even though the number of incidents has reduced dramatically since she moved in with him.

“I, ah, wondered if you'd like to go out for drinks sometime.” Sakura stares at him like he's a wild animal which visibly unsettles him.

“I'm underage,” is the only thing that comes to mind short of outright refusal. She doesn't care for his feelings but Kabuto once told her that it's better not to offend people if she can help it. Cornered animals do tend to bite.

“I mean if you're old enough to fuck-” He doesn't get much further than that. Just this time, Sakura is sure Kabuto will excuse her rashness. The chuunin moans pitifully as he rolls around on the ground, hands clutching his privates.

Sakura doesn't help him to the hospital and only barely refrains from kicking him once more.

“I heard an interesting rumour on my way home,” Kabuto murmurs while they're busy preparing dinner and Sakura rolls her eyes.

“If he thinks he can convince me to drink with him by insinuating that we have sex, then he deserves every bit of agony I can inflict on him.” Kabuto hums, then dumps a bowl of rice into a pot.

“You _are_ quite young,” he then says with odd emphasis on the word 'are' which causes Sakura to face him fully, hands on her hips.

“If I wanted to have sex, you couldn't stop me.” That's the wrong thing to say, Sakura realises belatedly. Suddenly Kabuto is everywhere, hands on either side of her body as he presses her against the counter. His eyes drill themselves into hers and Sakura's heart beats loudly. His proximity sets her skin on fire and she fights hard not to close her eyes and take a deep breath. He smells of antiseptic and mint. The perfect combination.

“Don't presume to know what I could and couldn't do.” He has her cornered like he's a predator and she's the prey and for the first time since they met, Sakura catches a glimpse of what lies past the carefully crafted imagine of the friendly neighbourhood medic.

There's a hunger there, violence, the smell of iron and copper, a cruel and mean reality that shimmers like clear cut diamonds and illuminates the darkness Sakura is so inherently drawn to. She's a moth and he's her flame and even though she knows she should be afraid, she's not.

She chained herself to him and she doesn't regret her choice. So Sakura doesn't run away.

Instead, she leans forward and presses her lips onto his.

He's not nice when he takes her to bed. His touch is gentle and soft as silvery strands of hair tickle her virgin skin. He loves her and with each thrust, whispers loaded questions into her ear, demands she recite every single tenketsu and where they're located in her pathways, asks about the most vulnerable parts of her body. When she can't answer, he stops. When she gets it right, he carves one line after another into her flesh and after the sixth time, she stops feeling the pain and craves it instead.

He loves her every night, then has her heal the wounds in the morning. It's the best way for her to learn, he claims and she believes him. She stopped doubting him long ago.

“You smell of him.” What a time for her runaway sensei to return, Sakura thinks as she checks the man's vitals and listens to the beat of his heart. She can't remember the last time she saw him. It had to be a little over two years... at least.

“Of course I do. I moved in with him after my parents died.” That derails him and Sakura inwardly smiles in satisfaction. He is so predictable.

“I heard you turned down Tsunade-sama's offer.” He tries to make conversation which she might have appreciated, years ago. Now she just finishes her work, takes a step back and flat-out looks at the man.

“I found my own little space in this village. You are not my sensei anymore, there's no need to try and make up for ignoring me during my genin days.”

She means to hit him where it hurts and judging from his visible cringe, she does.

“You're the picture of health, Hatake-san. I'll let the receptionist know and she'll sign your papers.”

Later that evening, she crawls into Kabuto's bed and surrenders herself to him, all thoughts regarding the earlier confrontation drowned by her own cries of ecstasy.

Sakura's sixteen when her second nightmare returns to the village. He wears her old team mate like a coat and the sight is nothing short of horrifying. Naruto wails in anguish, Kakashi's life leaves his body through his eyes and Kabuto is missing. There's an army besieging the village and Sakura's supposed to be in the hospital.

Except she's right here, right now, hands blue and sharp and ready to tear her nightmares apart.

“I remember you, girl,” Sasuke who's not actually Sasuke hisses and approaches her. Sakura refuses to cower. She's stronger than that.

“You know, there's not many people who can use offensive medical chakra like that.” She knows this, is fully aware of the origins of this original technique that Kabuto developed on his own.

“I _do_ wonder what my old student has gotten up to.” Cold shivers race down Sakura's spine as the chakra in her hands sizzles, then dies a pitiful death. With a cruel grin, Orochimaru flashes his Sharingan at Kakashi and Naruto, sends both of them to sleep. Then, he turns back to face Sakura, so much more sinister than before.

“He was meant to aid me during the Suna invasion. Instead, he abandoned me. I don't know where he is, but you are right here, ripe for the taking.”

And take her he does.

Recovery is slow, if it happens at all. Sakura jumps at shadows, cannot work or concentrate on anything but those bright red eyes which haunt her dreams. He laughed as he cut her skin, buried his hands in her open chest cavity only to stitch her back up, then repeat the process. He left her with scars to always remember their meeting.

He abandoned her lying in the dirt and the worst part is that he went off to get himself killed at the hands of Naruto of all people, leaving her with charged fists and nowhere to strike.

Kabuto hardly leaves her sight, slowly nurses her back to health, consumes her whenever she begs for it. He's the only one who can make her feel.

The only one that truly matters.

Sakura doesn't go back to the hospital. She's sick and tired of those white halls and demands the Hokage put her on a combat team, _any_ combat team. The woman sees trauma coming from a mile away so she turns Sakura down time and time again.

A week later, she's approached by a shadow wearing a plain white mask. When it offers her a hand, she takes it.

There's blood on her fingers, in her mouth, sticking to her hair. Sakura is a medic and her kills are clean, but the flashback induced rampages are not.

“You're too messy,” taichou grunts though she can't hear him over the rush in her ears. She comes back from missions with her pristine white mask doused in red one too many times. The next time the shadows hand her a replacement, it's already red.

“More,” Sakura moans and begs until Kabuto's finger traces one of the scars that riddle her chest and tears it open. Red hot blood wells from the cut and runs down her body, stains her sheets. It's too good to miss out on, like a drug Sakura has become addicted to. And Kabuto is her only dealer.

“You smell like death,” he muses pensively, as always detached and not-quite there even as he fucks her senseless.

“P- please,” she cries and watches him draw a crimson line down her stomach until he reaches the triangle between her legs.

“You will resign from ROOT. It's not a good place for you.” Sakura arches her back as his thumb lingers, applying just the faintest amount of pressure.

“Yes, yes! Anything, just- please-!”

Release is painful and sweet and she lets him reduce her to a boneless mass over and over again, until she forgets about her mask, sword and uniform.

When she wakes, the red tattoo on her left shoulder is gone.

A few days later, there's an ANBU in front of her door. She's clad in one of his shirts, scars put on display, eyes cold and empty.

“What do you want? I don't work for you anymore,” Sakura growls and is about to shut the door when the man jams a foot in the opening. Blue chakra immediately engulfs her hands before she can even think about defending herself. The expected attack doesn't come.

“You are required to testify. Yakushi Kabuto is on trial.”

Her entire world crumbles and shatters into pieces.

Kabuto is a spy. Kabuto has been working for Orochimaru for years before his death. Kabuto has been selling village secrets to other nations.

That's what they say.

Sakura doesn't believe them.

“What is the nature of your relationship with the accused?” She doesn't hear the question at first, too busy staring at the silver-haired medic-nin who's clad in shackles and chained to a chair.

“I... we're friends.” Her response falls flat, as dead and meaningless as her voice. He looks at her with those beautiful dark eyes of his and Sakura can't believe anyone would ever accuse him of anything.

“Popular opinion suggests that you are lovers.” He doesn't move but Sakura can see it in his eyes nevertheless.

“We're not.” She denies and denies, assures the council of Kabuto's presence in the apartment every time they ask where he's been.

He couldn't have been spying on a council meeting, he was cooking dinner.

He couldn't have been outside of the village, they were cleaning the apartment together.

He couldn't have met with Orochimaru that day, he was busy teaching her about heart transplants.

They look at her with pity in their eyes, then dismiss her soon after.

Kabuto doesn't come home.

Sakura gets fired and has to hand in her hitai-ate.

Time loses all meaning as she returns to the empty apartment. It's cold and she sleeps in his bed. It doesn't help. Nothing does. Her memories are foggy and out of order but she knows she used to be one of the shadows. And she knows where the shadows put those who wronged them.

They try to stop her but there's little they can do. Her weapons are invisible and cut deep without leaving a trace. She goes down the stairs, down down and down, descends into the darkest of depths, leaving behind a trail of corpses.

She doesn't know where to go but lets her instincts guide her way. She can find him, will always find him because he's part of her, lodged himself into her very being.

When she finally catches a glimpse of silver hair, her heart starts beating again and her lungs once again fill with air. When he's gone, she's dead. Only when he's around she's truly alive.

She opens the cell and he kisses her forehead.

Everything will be fine, she knows this. They can leave, go somewhere else together, it doesn't matter as long as she has him-

Pain. Then, darkness.

“Such a silly girl,” he croons as he stands above her. She can't move, he made sure of that as he paralysed her from the neck down. She's confused and wounded, can't think straight, wants to know what the hell is going on-

“You did your job fine enough, I suppose. Like a good little girl.” He sounds like he means it but his voice is cold and cruel. Not at all like what she's used to. Not at all like the first time they met with her- With... She can't remember. It was just the two of them, that day she first met him. Right?

“So eager to please and so obedient too.” His voice lulls her into a state of calm even as her mind frantically scrambles for memories that are long gone. There's an emptiness inside her head, tiny fragments that don't match up or make much sense at all. She knows silver and black, pink and green. Him and her. Ka- him. Him and Sak- her. She may not remember her name, but she still knows who she is.

...right?

“It's a shame, truly. You were brilliant. If only you had been a little less desperate for a friend, you could have saved yourself.” His words mean nothing to her. They don't compute and all she can do is lie still and gaze upon the only light in her life. He's everything and she's nothing. As long as he's around, she can exist in his shadow.

“I'll let you live. Who knows...” He bows down and kneels in front of her, one hand cupping her cheek.

“You might still be useful.”

When he leaves, he takes her heart and soul with him. Her mind remains, twisted and warped as it is.

When they find her, they're too caught up in feeling sorry for her to question her motives for being down there in the cells.

She only meant to visit him, is what she says and they believe her because she's deluded herself into thinking she's in love, look at the poor child, such a wasted life.

“He escaped,” the man she thinks used to be her teacher says gravely in the darkness of the night as they're all assembled in the blonde woman's clean office.

“He escaped and took the body with him.” The room's attention shifts to her but she's too far gone to properly notice. Her lips split into a wide and bloodied smile that _he_ has carved into her face, the sight sending shivers down the others' spines.

“Don't go after him, Sakura. He's done enough damage to you.”

Her smile widens, a ghastly and ugly thing, until sharp canines are revealed, dripping red with her own blood.

They try to make her stay where she's home, where it's _safe_ , but she doesn't listen.

Her skies are silver, high above pale forests and black seas. Somewhere out there, is the man who owns her soul and it's calling for her.

**Author's Note:**

> What am I even doing... I felt so uncomfortable after I was done. 
> 
> I'm still satisfied with how it turned out though. I genuinely do like Kabuto but ah, more as a ambivalent "my side is the only side" kind of rogue. Anyway. 
> 
> Feel free to let me know what you think in the bluntest manner possible.
> 
> EDIT: I slightly changed the last line because it bothered me how weak it felt.


End file.
